Saturday, June 13, 2009

Purina Diet

Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Nugget, the Wonder Dog and was in the checkout line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had, an elephant? So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit us both.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.
Costco won't let me shop there anymore.
(Sorry, just another one of those wacky things my hubby's brother sent me :)


Tanna said...

ROTFLOL! I just had to read this one to my husband! Too cute!

Busy Bee Suz said...

This is TOOOOO funny!!!!

Rev. Paul said...

You're an evil woman! That's funny right there.

Susie said...

Deedee that is too funny! Great story!

Lanny said...

Oh the tears, the hot tears of enjoyment! Oh how I wish to be able to say something similarly quick witted to those absurdly obvious questions we all get.

My clue was that you were buying food for Nugget and not Bandit, and that you would be entirely to sweet to lead some silly woman on like that. But oh my how funny, absolutely funny. Thank you for sharing I will be passing it on to Dirt. But I may wait until I have returned from Costco with a bag of Purina!

Diane C. said...

Ha ha, I never know what I'm going to find here. It is funny!

Stefunkc said...

Oh. My. Word!! You had me going!!